Farm update.

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Re: Farm update.

Post by bpaquet on Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:43 pm

In horses, some color patterns are carried only on the X chromosome, so the chances of getting it are even lower than 1 in 4, but Suzzzz, I remember the same biology squares. Fruit flies rule! (I wish I had stuck with it, but the section on plants chased me away.)

Those little barn kitties are SOOOOOO cute and the video... What can I say? I want doggies!
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Re: Farm update.

Post by fiffur on Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:33 am

I wanna see!!!! I can't see the pics or video on this dratted computer...........
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Re: Farm update.

Post by jeanebellini on Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:18 pm

you know a cat and dog can be impregnanted by different fathers in the same batch of babies. I never knew this til a few years ago....but it can. folks upstairs say they know exactly who Carter's father is though.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by fiffur on Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:18 am

Can someone please send me the pics as attachments to an email? I wanna see them too!
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:20 am

Sorry to not have been on sooner.
Sad news this week is that Helen passed away at 3:25 last Tuesday morning. The hospital had withdrawn treatment as it wasn't doing her any good and just gave her palliative care.
Her son flew over from Germany on Monday last and was with Dave and Helen's sister Sonia at the hospital when Helen passed on.
The funeral is this coming Wednesday.

It seems odd that Portia has returned over the last few days and is in the carry case with the other cat and the five kittens. She seems to be helping out with them.
The good news is that Sonia has stated that all the she cats are to be spayed as soon as it is possible to do so. So there won't be any more unplanned kittens. Phew. Having said that there was a large tom cat up in the hayloft with Kitten the other day so I expect her to produce another litter at some point. We just can't catch her (and if we did I suspect we would need metal gauntlets to keep from being scratched or bitten by her. lol
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Re: Farm update.

Post by WarriorNY on Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:20 pm

I am sorry to hear about Helen. Crying or Very sad
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Sue Short on Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:30 pm



I'm sorry to hear about Helen. You all will feel her loss
keenly.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by fiffur on Sat Aug 07, 2010 2:49 pm

I am so sorry about Helen. I know everyone there will miss her greatly. What will happen to the farm now?

I am glad however to hear that Portia has returned unharmed. (I really was beginning to think that badger got her) I've read kittenless females will help a momma with the lil ones. Sounds like Portia is acting as an aunt. I think Helen would've smiled at that.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by jeanebellini on Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:17 pm

oh bob...so sorry to hear about Helen. will have you guys in my prayers this week.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by BobCat on Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:04 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of Helen's passing, Bob. At least she didn't linger and suffer for a long time, though I know you will all miss her very much. My sympathies to all.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Suzzzz on Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:35 pm

Bob, you know my heart is with you, and with all of Helen's family. And with Helen herself.

I'm grateful, too, to hear Sonia's spay/neuter decree. May it happen soon.

Whatever happens with the farm, I'm sure it's inhabitants will be well cared for. After all, you're there.

Keep in touch, please, as you can.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:00 am

Thanks for all the kind words my friends, I have passed your good wishes on to Dave and he thanks you too.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by bpaquet on Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:47 am

Bob, I add my sympathies and wishes to all here. Please lean on us if you need some virtual shoulders.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Susan A on Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:18 am

Oh Bob. This is sad news. I am so sorry. My sympathies to you and to all of Helen's family and friends.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:11 pm

Well in the excitement of getting back on the internet (be it however sporadically) I forgot to give an update on the farm.
Well Dave (Helen's husband) decided that he didn't want the horses anymore so he arranged for Winston and Benjy to go on a more or less permanent loan. He just wanted them off his hands.
Winston has really fallen on his feet (hooves) and has got himself a nice little place where he is exercised and ridden on a regular basis. SOmething he never got at the farm.
Benjy, likewise, has got a nice place. He has shed a lot of the weight he was carrying and his laminitis has gone. He too is exercised more than ever and has now started giving rides to small children. Both are well cared for.
Bailey (the last horse Helen bought) was bought from Dave by Helen's remaining sister. All the horses are so much better off than they were.
Now to the crux of the matter. Dave has started dating again. He got himself on Facebook and around the end of December he said he was going over to Wigan to see a friend. Then he announced that a workmate was coming over to the farm to see the dogs. Neither Beryl or I saw this 'workmate' until the next day. We had been out shopping and when we got back Dave's car was gone. Peter was still home at the time and said his dad had gone for lunch with a work mate. Two hours later Beryl bumped into the workmate in the farm yard. Turns out it was a woman.
Eventually the truth started to come out. Dave was meeting this person regularly and was lying to the family about it (as was Peter).
Dave insists he is grieving for Helen but I ask you, what sort of person goes looking for someone else within 4 months of losing their wife.
There is more, but I don't want to go into a great rant over it.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by BobCat on Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:56 pm

Bob, I had a very dear friend who passed away in 2002 from a horribly fast-moving cancer. From diagnosis to her death was probably 8 months. Her husband was good to her, and there for her until the end, but then he IMMEDIATELY went on the prowl and found a new wife VERY quickly. Many friends even thought he was starting the thought process while my friend was still living (though her prognosis was dire). It was a sore point with all of our close circle of friends for a long time, thogh now I think he simply is the type of person who can't imagine living even a moment alone. Some people are just like that. I try to remain open-minded, but as I said, it was a little hurtful to see her spouse move on THAT quickly.

I understand where you're coming from, Bob.


Last edited by BobCat on Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Farm update.

Post by jeanebellini on Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:10 pm

bob i can understand where you're coming from...it wasn't quite that fast because i was still in the house after mom died..but not long after i left the black widow had moved in and married him. between the time i left and that he killed my mom's dog. not the same as the horses but i'm sure for the same reason.

we can be happy that the horses have all found better places and are being well taken care of though. nice to hear that they're doing well!
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Suzzzz on Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:06 pm

Some men simply cannot be alone. I was shocked when an acquaintance hooked up via a dating service not long after the love of his life left him. He was still in love with her. Hell, 15 years into his marriage to the new woman, he still is. But she was gone for good and he turned elsewhere. Fortunately for him he found a good woman and their marriage has been a fairly happy one. In my heart, she is the one I feel sorry for. She settled for a man who is in love with someone else.

Just saying, I don't doubt Dave truly grieves for Helen. Yet that truth may be seperate from his own need to love and be loved. I hate to judge affairs of the heart, lest I be judged. That, I do not want.

If he lied about it, Dave must have known what you all would think. He must have grown bold enough to test the waters if he brought her by. I just hope, while you're giving him the drubbing you all (including Dave) seem to think he deserves, you'll give that poor woman a chance. If you decide she's a gold-digging hussy, ride her out of town on a rail. But if she's a nice woman simply looking for a warm spot in life with a good man, I hope you'll make her welcome and let Dave and her make their own choices.

Enough from Agony Aunt Suze. Mostly I'm glad the horses have found such good homes!!
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Tue Apr 12, 2011 2:53 am

Thanks for the words of support guys.
I think what worries me most is that he is lying not only to the family but to the new woman. He has banished the dogs from the house because in his words ' I don't want them wrecking it and I only have to vacuum once a week instead of three times a week'. They now live in one of the stables getting out for exercise as often as I can get them out and, in Daves case, whenever he remembers them. He has told me that his ideal would be to have no animals there at all and that the dogs are there because Helen wanted them.
His Facebook page, however, says something different. Apparently he lives near Lancaster with his pet dogs, cats and other animals. Totally false impression. I have been there when he has brought the dogs around for a run on the back paddock with Pol and Pippa. If it is just me and him the dogs are left alone, if Pam is with him he rabbits on to them and gives the impression that he thinks the world of them.
I've known him and Helen for 27 years and if he lies to me I don't think he will have any problems lying to someone he has known a couple of months.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by fiffur on Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:41 pm

I am so glad the horses found better homes, sounds like Helen was the one who truly was the animal lover. Wish the dogs' story had the same happy ending as the horses though. They don't know why they've been banished from the house all of a sudden. Poor puppers.

Dave is "putting on airs" and pretending to be something he isn't to attract a woman, probably because he's lonely with Helen gone now. In my experience, the truth always comes out eventually, hopefully before a woman gets too attached to him or marries him thinking they'll have pets only to be sadly disappointed. I feel sorry for that woman to be honest with you. Something's not right when he lies not only to her but also to his family. I know Dave's most likely grieving in some way for Helen yet, so maybe not really being totally himself at the moment. But he's also not giving himself or anyone else the chance to know or appreciate him for his true self by putting on airs like he's doing. Nobody wins that game.

Personally I hate it when someone plays mind games with me by pretending to be something they're not. I think a lot of women feel the same way as I do.

How are the farm kitties and ducks? Are they still there or have they gone too? And how are you? Doing any more paintings? Writing any more stories?
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:07 pm

Thanks Lori.
The farm kits and ducks/geese/turkeys/chickens are still safe. Though I do get the occassional moan from his lordship over the cost of feed for them.
Now that my house has sold I am hoping that Beryl can get hers off the slips and we can look for somewhere else (Beryl wants the remaining two chihuahua girls and the only surviving boy) Of the other chihuahuas, Heidi has gone to a couple who have had chi's before and wanted a replacement for one that died, so she has gone to a good home. Dash and Tee the boys have been rehomed together. I'm glad they've gone as Dash was a total swine over kittens or puppies. Bunty was pregnant last year and before we realised she had gone ionto labour overnight and we found her the next day standing guard over two live pups and two dead ones. Dash was trying to get them from her and I suspect the little swine had killed the first two.
On a happier note I found three kittens at the back of the barn they were obviously only a few days old and there was no sign of their mother. I took them in and Dave took them into the main house and started looking after them (there's hope for him yet). He got up through the night and fed and cleaned them. However two of them died but he managed to save the tabby girl and she has now gone to a good home.
Today I found a dead kitten outside the door to the dog room, but inside Portia is nursing two live ones a tabby and a black. As soon as I get photos I will post them here (or email them to you Lori. lol)
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Re: Farm update.

Post by ARNIgal on Tue Apr 12, 2011 3:55 pm

Thanks for the update. Life on the farm seems rough for the little ones just starting out...
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Suzzzz on Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:21 pm

Dave sounds like a desperately confused and unhappy man who has no idea what to do with his needs or the legacy of lives that his wife left him, and in consequense is acting badly. I feel for him, I really, do, but I also feel for his lady friend and the animals in his charge. Gonna be some life lessons learned here all around before it's all over, IMO. Neutral

Tell me, Bob. What would you do if the farm had been left to you? For the sake of this hypothetical argument, let's say Dave is out of the picture, too. It's all yours, free and clear, to do with as you wish. No lordship on site but your own self. Question
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Re: Farm update.

Post by Bob on Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:05 am

Suzzzz wrote:
Tell me, Bob. What would you do if the farm had been left to you? For the sake of this hypothetical argument, let's say Dave is out of the picture, too. It's all yours, free and clear, to do with as you wish. No lordship on site but your own self. Question

Hmmm an intersting notion. A few spur of the moment ideas follow.
Planning permission is in place to have some outbuildings converted into holiday lets so I'd get that started straight away. The income from them alone would be terrific. Yes it would be a lot of work keeping them tidy, changing bed linen etc but at the end of the day you do that once a week and the rest of the time would be spent keeping the place neat and tidy.
I suspect that I would have the cats speyed or neutered to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
The geese would go in favour of more chickens. Eggs galour to sell to the holliday makers.
I have to say, in all honesty, that I wouldn't have had horses. Beautiful though they are they are an awful lot of work.
When all is said and done I reckon that the place could be a veritable goldmine if the right person got it.
I'm sure there are more things that could be done but I can't think of them at the moment.
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Re: Farm update.

Post by fiffur on Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:10 pm

Sorry to hear so many of the little ones didn't make it, but also happy for the ones that have so far. Portia is a good momma so those two lil kits should be okay. You may be right about Dash. Glad he's in a new home with a buddy he knows. He's probably happier now. And Heidi I know is a lil gem, she'll make her new family very happy.

There is hope yet for Dave if he was able to save that kitten (shame about the two littermates-probably too weak to make it). I wonder what he'd think about your ideas for the place? A B&B sounds like a good idea, and egg money besides. I'd keep at least one goose though, they make good "guard dogs" for the rest of the poultry.

I really hope you and Beryl can get those chi's........they are such cute, smart lil dogs. Looking forward to pics!
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Re: Farm update.

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