When do you stop crying?

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When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:00 pm

Tristan died an hour and a half ago. He was 21 1/2 years old, so he lived a good life, but I'm a mess. I buried him in the backyard, next to the patio---he's only a few feet from where I sit, typing this. And I can't stop crying.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by WarriorNY on Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:01 pm

I am so sorry. Sad

He had a good long life.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:16 pm

Thanks!!!!
I'm a little better, it's just you get so darned attached!
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by jeanebellini on Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:45 pm

i know it doesn't help much right now...but it does get better. you'v got plenty of memories from all those years. and i'm sure over time you'll share some of those with us.
i wish i was closer so it would be easier to talk. you know if you need to talk it out or whatever i'm here for ya. actually i'm off for two more days so if you need me let me know.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by BobCat on Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:10 pm

To feel loss, you have to feel love. It's always hard. How could you not cry at the loss of your friend of 21+ years? I still cry if I think too much of Blue...or Grommit...or Ruby...and it's been a long time.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mags.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Sue Short on Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:18 pm



Mags, I am so sorry. The words are so inadequate. It's hard to say when you stop, the first days
even weeks it's all so new and raw, but later as you remember all the love it will ease.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by bpaquet on Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:23 pm

I'm so sorry, Mags. Don't think about stopping. It will happen when it happens, and you will work out your memories and feelings. Hugs!
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Suzzzz on Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:36 pm

Magdalene, cry. It's right and meet to cry when your beloved leaves you. We cry with you, my darling.

I'm glad Tristan is resting close. You were very strong to take care of him so well. I admire your courage in the midst of your grief. That must have been very hard.

Please, when you're ready, tell us what happened. We want to hear, and we'd like to honor him, too. Mostly, dear friend, please feel our love, understanding and caring. We love you and we're here for you. ((((((hug))))))
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:53 am

THnaks guys. You want to hear the topper? I just got let go at work. Not a good week...
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by ARNIgal on Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:05 am

Work too affraid ?!! Mannn...! All's I can say to that is that I can really understand the spot that you're in...keep up the search, you'll find some kind of work eventually...that's what people tell me anyways... Razz Also I lost my Jay Jay last December...

Sometime in the future, you may think that you have stopped crying about your loss...but, WATCH OUT!! You might suddenly hear, see or rembember something that will remind you of Tristan and you could suddenly bawl your eyes out! That is how I grieve. Needless to say, this gives me new perspective and perhaps a bit more compassion for people who suddenly loose it in the middle of a Kroger or Safeway or some similar place...

Stay strong whatever happens Smile
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by gbste on Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:44 am

I'm so sorry for your loss! I don't know when to tell you you'll stop being sad. I'm still a basket case over my foster dog Myra, and she didn't pass away, she just got transferred to another rescue--she's fine, but not me. We lost our elderly boy Oliver in August. He was a very nice orange tabby boy. I still look for him at feeding time, etc.

Good luck with the job search. Lots of teachers here may lose their spots next year because the state of Colorado has screwed up education funding. I've been here forever, but the newest teachers are pretty nervous about their jobs right now. Persistance does help people find new work, though.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by jimkr2t on Fri Mar 25, 2011 11:17 am

Mags - I'm so sorry for the loss. You've had over 21 years together, and a lot of memories - but now, only sadness. The sadness will slowly decline and the memories will take it's place - and you will REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Jim
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by lovekitties on Fri Mar 25, 2011 12:52 pm

Oh, Mags. I'm so sorry to hear about Tristan. It's so hard when so much time and love and care is invested and I know how hard it is to let go.
and to lose your job on top of it!
What can I say, If you need me I'm here. Wish I were closer and we could commiserate together in person. Be strong. We love you
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by jeanebellini on Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:37 pm

oh mags...your job as well? are you able to get unemployment? (do you need a punching bag? i bet we have some of those inflatable clown ones at work!)
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Fri Mar 25, 2011 3:45 pm

jeanebellini wrote:oh mags...your job as well? are you able to get unemployment? (do you need a punching bag? i bet we have some of those inflatable clown ones at work!)

I'm still waiting for someone to call about severance---I should be able to get unemployment. It wasn't totally unexpected, and I'm more upset about my kitty. I can sleep in! I can visit relatives with my mom!
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by bpaquet on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:16 pm

I understand you caring more about your kitty than your job. After all, a job is what we do when we aren't playing with our pets, right? I think your attitude is admirable. I hope the good memories have started to come to give you some comfort.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by jeanebellini on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:36 pm

give yourself some time with both situations. its hard with both. but you know you've got a lot of folks in here to talk to.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Fri Mar 25, 2011 8:38 pm

Thanks, Jeanne!!!!!
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by jeanebellini on Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:55 pm

if you want to talk and need my phone # just PM me. you know i'm home every night.....or you can IM me on here. (by the way...are you on facebook?)
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by fiffur on Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:14 pm

I am so sorry to hear about Tristan, Mags. 21 1/2 is a good long life, and Tristan knew without a doubt that you loved him very much. It's okay to cry, I'd be surprised if you didn't cry your eyes out off/on for the next few months.

But to lose your job in the same week................oh Lord I know how that feels. I wish you ((((((((((((((TONS OF GOOD LUCK)))))))))))))))))) for job hunting.

Fiffur died, I lost my job the next day, my grandmother died a few days later, and then my sis lost her job, all within 10 days one January.............
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Magdalene on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:23 pm

Fiffur, Tristan died on what was my dad's birthday---my dad died 12 years ago, and I had to euthanize a favorite cat that same year (Honey had diabetes and her kidneys failed). The one-two punch in less than 24 hours was a bit too Hollywood---and I'm much more upset about Tristan. I had him longer than the job! I'll find out more tomorrow, when I call HR---I'll be lucky if I get two weeks severance. But I havea roof over my head, food on the table, so I count my blessings.
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by Sue Short on Sun Mar 27, 2011 11:49 pm



Mags, you have certainly been rained upon. Still we are with you
and understand all that you are going through.

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by bpaquet on Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:01 am

That we do! I can tell a good job loss story... When I got laid off from my job in 1995, I was sure the sky was falling. I didn't think that every day I showed up at the place, I felt like crying and that the job absolutely stunk. I just knew I was going to be a bum because I didn't have a job. Well, exactly 30 days later, I found another job that didn't make me cry and was much more stable. I think sometimes we stare at the closed door so long, we don't see the one that opens for us. (Isn't that some kind of awful translation of one of the sayings on the official Mutts site?)

I hope you can get the annoying job details sorted out so you can concentrate on your feelings about losing Tristan. It's hard to mourn properly when things like that get in the way. (((MORE HUGS)))
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by fiffur on Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:56 pm

Amen to that................you're double-grieving right now. Over Tristan and your job. Bad enough to lose one but both in the same day........... ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
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Re: When do you stop crying?

Post by lovekitties on Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:03 pm

I know it's hard, Mags, but " always look on the bright side of life "
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